Look Past The Numbers

I’ve been trying to figure out just exactly how I would approach this topic for a few weeks now, and have decided to just write whatever comes to mind and go with it.  I’m talking about divorce.

Before even starting this entry, I wanted to see what I could find out about the divorce rate in our country.  I have had several conversations over the past few years with an attorney friend of mine about the divorce rate and how it has been affected by the economic downturn we have seen since around 2007.  He told me that he has seen a sharp decrease in people filing for divorce and cited the cost of the proceedings as a factor.  Interesting, but there had to be more.

I found a Census Bureau report that had the data I was looking for (source).  If one were to look only at the right side of the report for the divorce rate, you would see that, since 1980, the rate of divorces per 1,000 has decreased from 7.9 to 5.2 in 2008; looks good, right?  It does, but look past the numbers.  Look at the left side of the report, the marriage rate per 1,000. It, too, has decreased from 15.9 in 1980 to 10.6 in 2008.  Seems to me that marriages are on the decrease as well.  Extrapolating further, in 1980, there were 7.9 divorces per 1,000 in population, and 15.9 marriages; using basic math, you can see that divorces were about 50% of what marriages were in 1980.  In 2008, that rate was just shy of 50%.  Not much of a difference after all.

I am not a fan of divorce at all.  I take seriously the part in my wedding vows that says,”till death do us part.” (I also take the other parts equally as seriously.)  I think that couples take the easy way out and divorce.  At the first sign of a disagreement, they are filing paperwork.  In that instance, I would surmise that there were issues that needed to be dealt with well before the wedding day that could have help to avoid the dissolution of the marriage.  Some people approach divorce like it is no big deal, and almost seem to beam with pride that they have had multiple divorces.  Wrong approach.

Now, I am not saying that there is never a reason for divorce, just that I do not agree with the end result.  For example, in a situation where there is spousal abuse, it would be wrong to the abused spouse to stay with the abuser; the same thing goes if one spouse is abusing a child.  I know people who have had their lives drastically altered because of the divorce of their parents, or their own divorce.

Maybe I live in a fantasy world where I think that marriages should work.  Maybe I am naive.  Or maybe when I made a commitment in front of God, family, and friends to honor my wife, I actually meant it.


One Response to Look Past The Numbers

  1. Pingback: It Takes Two « Adventures in Aspieland

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