For Once, It’s About Me

By nature, for better or for worse, I generally put the needs of others before my own.  My entire family comes before me, not just Amber and Kaitlyn.  My employees/co-workers come before me Monday thru Friday.  The needs of my friends tend to take priority for me too often.

Is that a bad thing?  Yes and no.  Selfishness does not take you far, at least in my opinion.  I enjoy thinking of others first, and doing things for them, even if it is as simple as changing my plans to ensure we do something they want to do.  Being this way, can, and has, lead to me being taken advantage of by people, and to occasionally more stress.

So, it was really not much of a suprise that when I was recently considering a new job that I first thought about everybody else.  I thought of my co-workers and my employer and the impact it would have on them.  I thought about my customers.  After about a day of watching me struggle with the decision, Amber finally had enough.  She asked me a difficult and important question, “are you thinking about everyone else, or are you thinking about yourself.”  Her message was clear:  this is about me, not anybody else.

Once I finally came to grips with what she meant, my thinking started to become clear and the decision became obvious.  And for the first time in a long time, I thought about me, and I made the decision that was right for me (and for Amber and Kaitlyn of course).  My decision has not gone over well with some people, but I am confident and steadfast in my belief that I made the right choice for me and my family.

If you are the type of person that constantly puts everybody else before yourself, it is ok to think about yourself every once in a while. 

One Response to For Once, It’s About Me

  1. ryan85 says:

    Perhaps it’s not so simple. Making a wise decision where the effects on you are given the most weight doesn’t make it a selfish decision. The daily grind of your 9 -5 doesn’t directly affect Kaitlyn. You wouldn’t decorate your office with princesses because Kait would prefer it. However, placing yourself in a healthier work situation has benefits when you are off the clock, so a “selfish” decision is really a mutually beneficial one. Your priorities are to first honor God, then fulfill your role as a husband, then as a father and if your choice doesn’t violate anything in those areas, then go for it!

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