Know The Difference

The other day, I wrote about a post that my friend Ryan posted on his blog, and the question I posed to him about abortion (you can read it here).  Ryan is a man of his word, and he promised to write a thoughtful and in-depth reply, and I cannot wait to read it.  In response to my question, another commenter weighed in, and what resulted was a rather testy exchange over the course of a few days.  I apologized to Ryan in a comment because it was not my intent to make his post into a thread containing people going back and forth.  Amber also weighed in, and I think some of the passion in my later responses come from the urge I have to defend her from being attacked and questioned as a mother.

The commenter I am referring to somehow twisted my pro-choice view into me being someone who “advocates for abortion.”  I do not advocate for abortion, do not think abortion is great, and do not think abortion is the answer in every case.  It is offensive that this commenter would presume that about me, but he is entitled to his opinion.

What I want to do now is distinguish between someone who is “pro-choice” and someone who is “pro-abortion” because they are not one in the same.  Maybe to most it is a matter of semantics, but to me it is not.

Being “pro-choice,” to me, means being someone who believes that, in this case, a woman is entitled to have a choice on what to do with their body and regarding their healthcare.

Being “pro-abortion,” on the other hand, means being someone who is all for abortion.  Abortions on every corner, so to speak.  That is not me.

I do not believe that a woman who is raped, or a little girl who is impregnated by her father or brother should be forced to carry the child to term.  I believe that they should have the choice, and that the choice should be theirs alone.  I believe that, if it came down to it, a mother should be able to choose between her life and the life of her unborn child; it is not, and should not be confused as being an easy choice.  I do not believe that a rape victim should be made to ensure the health of the child of their attacker.  I do not believe, too, that abortion should be the “fall back” for people who choose to make irresponsible choices; there is a difference between two consenting adults choosing to take a risk and a person who is raped (no matter what Todd Akin thinks).

Read that paragraph above again.  Do you see the difference?  I am sorry to say that the commenter I referenced cannot.

Let me give you an example on what his view is:  If Amber were to be raped and become pregnant, he believes that we, as a family, should care for her and the unborn child up until delivery, and then we can just give the child up for adoption.  Yep, that is a rational belief.  I should allow my wife to live with the psychological scars of the attack, plus the physical toll of being pregnant.  Good call.  Oh, and if Amber were to have trouble during delivery and were to die, he is ok with that, as long as the rapist’s baby is ok; he did not seem to mind that I would be a widower and a single parent, all because my wife was attacked and did not have a choice.  While that is an ugly hypothetical, and one that I hope I ever have to endure and that nobody ever has to endure, it is a possibility.

The intent of my original question to Ryan was not to change his mind or his view, but was for clarification.  I respect the view of people who are “pro-life” and only ask that the respect be returned.  Was I passionate in my responses back to the commenter?  Yes I was, and I may have unintentionally offended him.  Was he respectful of my view?  Not even close.  He was derisive and dismissive, and felt free to talk down to me.  He believes that his view is the only view, and that if people do not agree with him, they are wrong.  I feel sad for people like that.  I know people reading this will not agree with my view, and I respect that.  If you choose to comment on this post, and you fall into that category, all I ask is that you keep your comments civil.

6 Responses to Know The Difference

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